|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| well well well, if it ain't xanga. Hidy hoooooooooo!!
Out of the blue, I just felt like updating today. For those of you who are unaware, I'm still livin' in Fukuoka. There maybe actually quite a few of you who didn't know this. That's because as of recently, I've been spending a lot more time indoors. I haven't really felt like venturing anywhere recently which is a real bummer, I admit. I often flip back and forth between acting like a tourist vs acting like I live here. Sure, on one hand, I'm not planning to live in Japan forever so I should take advantage of my time here by talking to the locals and visiting the sites. On the other hand, I've been here three years and three years of sight seeing is quite tiring and it's nice to settle down and make some place a home. I guess balance is key.
But, anyway... besides that...
skies are blue.
October has got to be the best season in Japan. Well, that and January, February, March, April, May and June. Sorry for those colder months but I'm just not a winter fan. Although, I hope to get a couple of rides on my snowboard this season.
My dad's in Japan. Exactly where his where abouts is, I know not. I got a call from him this morning... at 4:30am! The first thing he asks me is, "What time is it over there?". I ask him if he's in Japan and he says yes. What the hell? All of Japan is in one time zone. What is he thinking??? I'm supposedly going to meet him this Saturday, which will be the first time in a year. A year doesn't seem that long when written, but for some reason, I feel like I haven't seen him in ages. It's going to be awesome! I'm a bit nervous but excited as well. Plans are that he's going to meet my boyfriend (Masa). Now THAT'S going to be interesting.
Have you ever trusted someone with your whole heart?
Trusted someone enough to not only be a part of your life but to build your life with you. Trusted someone to lean against you as you lean against them, holding each other up. Trust them to influence your life and hope that those influences are for the best. I think many resist it. It takes courage, faith, naivety and a dream. You've got to be willing to risk. Risk that your heart will be broken, risk that your dream may crumble, risk that you'll regret it after years have gone by, risk that you'll be influenced in all the wrong ways, and risk that you may become blind to being in a situation you despise yet too cowardly to change. But then again, what's life without risk? You may look back five years from now and think, I was young and dumb. Sure. But who wants to live with doubt? You may make a decision and change your mind down the line, and hey, that's ok. When things change, you change... that's life.
Five years down the line, what will I be doing?
Alive and happy is all I can hope for. The rest I'll figure out when I need to.
| | |
| Hello xanga, readers, and everything in between.
It's been way too long hasn't it. Yes, yes indeed.
I've been getting along with life as usual. Me and life are bakapuru (バカップル). What can you say... we're love love. God, I've become waaay too Japanese haven't I.
To further internationalization, I've partnered up.
Just to give an idea of what it's like, here's a snippet of my boyfriend's email:
How's going this morning? I wonder if
you are sleepy or not because we are having the problem, lack of sleep
these days; we are talking late nigh for
long time.I hope not you sleep in class all day long. I do not want you
to get in trouble with your job because of the sleeping problem. If you
are problem with it, let me know. We can have a talk and solve this
serious lack of sleeping.
I fell over the first time I read it from laughing too hard. I always thought it would be interesting to have a boyfriend from another culture but it's been beyond expectation.Oh man, good times. Good times.
| | |
| i went snowboarding with a few of my friends last weekend. it was a 3.5 hr drive to the Hiroshima region.
have a look if ya got the chance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE5cFi0_9MQ
| | |
| I'm in Australia this Christmas and New Years. I want to wish you all a Happy New Year!!!   Please tell me your new year's resolutions. I'll have mine up shortly. | | |
| It's been two months since my last update and I feel a lot has happened. Whether or not others would think so, I don't care.
Most of my happenings, as the Japanese would say, are social developments. Considering I'm living in a different social environment from America, I'm rather happy that I've grown in this aspect.
It's December once again and this only means 3 things:
1. It's the end of a year.
2. It's the beginning of a year.
3. It's almost my birthday.
In these past months, I probably had about 80+ new encounters with random Japanese people. I've met some people I liked, some I didn't really care for and others that I feel indifferent towards. Earlier this month, I went to my very first single's party. It was awesome! First of all I got to see what a formal single's party in Japan was like. They had an amateur magician do some lame tricks and the whole party was choreographed. That was just the icing on the cake. The best part was seeing how the Japanese flirted with each other. All the people who went had a motive of meeting someone new, yet, most were still extremely shy and hesitant. Over this month, I've realized that Japanese men, in general, are not go getters. They have to be fed what to say and do. They are not American.
Coming to Japan I didn't have any ideas about what Japanese men were like. My mom hadn't told me too much about them and I had no experience dating, yet alone, talking with them. I had very little idea what the hell was going through their mind. It's taken me a year and a half and now I think I'm starting to understand. I'm beginning to know more of what to expect. A date where the guy comes to your house, picks up the girl, takes her to a restaurant where he has reservations and then to something interesting is absolutely unheard of. Something probably most likely to happen is the two meet at a store somewhere and then the two will ponder or pretend to think about where to eat. If the girl is assertive, the girl will then lead the date from that point on, deciding where to eat, where the conversation goes, what is going to happen afterwards and at what time the date ends. If the girl is shy, she won't do a thing and a lot of time will be spent on what to do and not a lot will be spoken during the entire date. Most guys will probably find this kind of date boring, which means that most guys expect the girl to lead. Either way, feelings aren't talked about, most answers are yes or no, philosophies aren't discussed and no matter how well the date goes, the guy will end it will a casual wave as he's already partly leaving. Really, I feel the roles are in many ways reversed from America. Personally, I don't mind. It's just taken me a while to realize this... probably because I don't get the chance to experience it very often. Things move at a slower pace which I think suits me better than in America and I find shy guys endearing, as long as they're wiling to challenge their feelings.
From understanding this, it's helped me understand even further the reasons behind the social interactions... or more so the lack of social interaction between the Japanese. I really shouldn't say, "lack of" because it's not that it's lacking... it's just that it's not expressed verbally as in America. I recently found out that there's a four Kanji phrase called "Ishin denshin" （以心伝心）which is basically a fancy word for telepathy. Many Japanese, especially Japanese men, believe that if two people know each other well, words do not have to be spoken but they can understand each other's feelings through telepathy. This is one of the main reasons why communication is poor between Japanese couples. A large part of them feels, having to say things bluntly means there isn't a connection between them. To say things verbally means to not have good communication. The exact opposite of what I was raised to believe.
I have a lot to learn from the Japanese and their customs. I feel they can help me to be less assertive and think more from the other's perspective. There have been a few times this past month where I've been baffled by what I learned about their thinking. Would you like an example? Great!
One example that I feel really reflects their perspective is when someone offers something to another. In America, if you are at someone's house and someone offers you a coke or something to eat, if you're not hungry, you could say, "Thanks but I'm not hungry." and the other person wouldn't make a fuss. By honestly telling the other person how you are feeling at the moment and why you are refusing their offer, the other person understands that you are not rejecting their offer because you don't like it but simply because you don't feel like it. On the contrary, when a Japanese person is offered something, no matter how they are feeling, they will accept. This is because they feel that when they accept, it is not the item they are accepting but the person's generous feeling. They will accept the drink or the snack even if they are stuffed because they want to tell the other person, "You are so generous to offer me something and to think about me." They feel by refusing the item it means they are refusing to accept the person's generosity.
On a somewhat related but completely different note, I have just about gotten over the fear of rejection. Seriously. It really doesn't bother me anymore. I've been rejected in so many ways while being here that I've almost become decensitized to it. Although I don't go seeking for rejection per say, I don't mind doing something knowning that there's a posibility I could get rejected. It still bothers me if this is rejection from someone I have come to trust and I don't expect it. But, if I think it's a possibility, I'm not bothered when it does happen. I like the fact that this has happened to me because I feel rejection holds a lot of people back. On the other hand, I do feel it means I've lost the luster of inexperience when it comes to matters of rejection. I will no longer be affected for months after someone says I'm not what they're looking for. There's a bit of tuff skin that's developed where the soft baby skin used to be and since it's impossible to have both, I'm not regretful. Because most Japanese don't do things they feel are embarassing, their standard for being embarassed is hgih. Because of that, I'm usually a big shock for the Japanese. Even in America, I think I would be considered rather ballsy by most. In Japan, it's just unheard of. They usually don't know how to react and what to think of it... especially coming from a girl. Living here, I've pushed my social comfort zone whenever the opportunity presented itself. Mainly because I feel I won't be here long and I want to try everything at least once. I don't care about making a fool out of myself because I rather do that then leave thinking I wish I had. I think I want to always live my life this way, no matter where I am and how long I think I'll live there.
Long story short... I've decided I want to stay in Japan another year. That's right, at least until August 2009. Although I haven't officially signed any forms, if the JET program will have me for another year, then I'm happy to stay. I feel Japan still has a lot to offer me. Besides, the food is unbelievably delicious. Seven years ago, I thought I was done with Japan, not really interested in ever coming back. Now I'll have to be torn away from Japan when I leave.
| | |
|
|
